Dear ..+_+..

I really don't know wat happened to you ... i read ur blog ... Plz don't says things like that ... Yup ... Is my fault that go and read his blog ... i admit that is my "gebo" ... and i'm not suppose to disturb anymore ... but at least i hav to make clear that my motive is not evil ... JUZ TRY TO ENCOURAGE HIM TO COME BACK .. THATS ALL ! My mind might a bit different from others ... and i also admit about it ... my mind is very weired ... THE WAY I THINK IS DIFFERENT .. A BIG BIG "SORRY" to you and ur frens as well ... I'M SO SORRY ... and ... i really meant it ... I still care(honestly) ... i still care .. 1. how is he ...? 2. Is he getting better ...? 3. Is he still continue to walk faithful in Christ ...? and etc..etc..(At least i still concern wether he is still trust God or not ..? Yes...i do concerned ... (BUT NOW I KNOW I NO NEED TO CARE ANYMORE ..) SORRY...even hundred times ... thousand times ... and i know when its hurt ... its hurt oledi ... nth can cure unless time and God ... (ESPECIALLY For HIM...).. But gal,juz want to let you know ... everyone hav its own problem ... and issue to deal with ... me too ... do u guys think i'm very ok here ... i'm very fine here ...? No..i tell you ...NO...Is NO ...also no one call me up and ask ... oso no one like really come and talk with me ... i oso found no one to talk with ... even tot there is .. but i don know should i share with or not ... alot alot issue in my life too ... but as we know ... (at least in my heart i deeply believe it..)the greatest enemy in this world is myself ... i try to deal with it myself ... try to recover by myself ... did i get help from others ... ? NO...only from God ... i deal with myself ...i struggle ... even rite now ...DO U GUYS KNOW THIS ...? When u mentioned "UNWANTED PPL" ... do u know ... its hurt ...! " UNWANTED = NO ONE WANT IT " I really felt sory ... i CONCERNED for him ... try to giv him back the +VE respond ... hopefully if he really hav the heart to come back TO THE HSE...at least he wont feel weired especially WHEN MEET me ... at least still remain as a fren ... Wats wrong? i juz hope that he can come back and grow 2gater in Christ ... tell me wats wrong ...? ...ok,if he don't want and rejected! i understand and i wont appear in his blog again ... i know different ppl got different way to deal with THEIR OWN PROBLEM ... so i wont blaim him ... AND I NEVER BLAIM HIM .. but sis , when u mentioned that we are the pretend , trying to be good ... i really felt sad ... Not that we dont care ... we do care,but sometimes we ourself oso 自身难保 ... oso need minister, then how ...? We do ask .. we do care .. but how we going to care if you dont want to tell or share ...? As i says,different ppl hav different way to deal with their own problem ... we think that you might need time to be alone ... to settle by ur own ... we dont dare to ask ... we scare later you feel bad or wat ...do u understand..? But i did mentioned rite ... !!! "if you really need somebody... call me up ...! Maybe you not convenient to tell but at least a companion for you,i oso dont mind ..!" Honestly .. me myself oso in a very bad situation ... ! No one know ... ppl tot i'm ok .. ppl tot i'm easy come easy go .. Do they know i really care ... i actually want to call up and ask (but i dont dare)... I felt exhausted ... no mood .. no energy .. dissapointed .. sad .. and alot alot of -ve emotion ... But wat i can do ... juz swallow it .. and seek God for peace ... time to cure ... I'm not saying that i'm a great man or wat ... juz i do sad and felt bad ... But is still depence on ourself to be strong and move on .. No easy .. but live still on rite ... No point to complaint and react .. I still remember last time i tot i found someone that can share ... but after i shared .. wat happened .. ? he choose to react .. and act cool .. so wat do he xpect me to do ...? If i'm doing that,he choose to close his door and don talk abt it anymore ... but how abt if he is the one react after shared , wat he xpect me to do .. i'm still human .. i'm not perfect .. i will hurt,i will close door as well .. why now seems like everything is my fault .. am i fault because i keep thinking for others situation .. ? am i fault due to i'm so care how is others .. ? Till now .. i realised that always think for others is not a good things .. ? Consider abt others .. try to do something to encourage others but failed .. and being rejected .. Do u know how pain is that .. ? YES,I THINK I'M THE ONE NEED TO LEFT .. YES,MY THOUGHT AND MINDSET IS THE ONE MAKE PROBLEM AND CREATE ISSUE FOR OTHERS .. YES,IS ALL B'COZ OF ME .. SO .. I'M THE ONE SHOULD HIDE AND GO BUT NOT YOU .. OK!!!