~ Awakeness ~ of mind ..

July 14 This year .. 2008 .. is been a very tough year for me .. ! Lots of things happened , loose lots of things specially myself .. But i gain a precious things in my life oso .. which is HIM ~ my Lord .. Been thru alot .. juz found that i really put God away all this while .. asked Him to came in but ignore Him .. His advise , His words , The relationship with Him .. Sorry .. Sorry .. +_+ .. I do love You , my Lord ..! I believe thru all this circumstances .. I can stand even more stronger in You .. I want to and i desire too .. But Lord , i loose my strength .. i need Your strength .. Teach me how .. guide me how .. Since year 2008 started , i told my leaders this year i will be more focus on my own life building coz there is a little voice told me that "this year alot of things going to happen to you , be strong .. and learn from the mistake .. this yaer oso a year of turning for you .. if you can successfully overcome all this then u will grow stronger and breakthru in the Lord .. but if you cant .. you will be getting away from the Lord slowly .. so love urself , build urself , and be firm no matter wats come out , .." Cell member are important,they all are precious to me .. everyone are precious to me .. But if my own life oso break down then how can i build others .. +_+ .. I want to be an assets but not liability in God's kingdom ..... ^_^ .. i want .. i really want .. There is only two main things i can do now .. a) Die to self .. b) Turn back to God .. I know that is very hard .. But "no pain no gain" .. Can i make it .. this year ? Can i .. ?